My four year old daughter, husband, parents, our church family
and a few great friends are what my life now consists of. Gone are the days of
chasing a fancy career with matching salary. My amazing, hardworking husband
has allowed me to be able to stay at home due to my illnesses.
I currently have a BS
in Interior Design, a teaching license in Early Childhood Education and have
finished half of a masters in Special Education. We live in the beautiful city of Denver, CO
which is convenient since my favorite place to be is in the mountains. Camping, skiing, hiking, driving; I do not
care as long as I am surrounded by trees and peaks. Nature is my sanctuary.
These days of course skiing and hiking are not possible but I hope someday I
will be able to once again partake in them.
At home I am usually doing the regular house work if it is a
good day. In addition to rearranging my house in some way, redecorating,
playing and working on preschool basics with my daughter and of course writing
and getting to know all of you.
Before 2013 I held one or two jobs and was also working on my
masters. I was go, go, go! As I am sure most of you were until severe
illness entered our world. I was trying
my darndest to measure up to the world’s standard of a 33 year old Woman. I wanted to be the working mother who brought
home a sizable salary, wore a size 8, cooked, entertained and decorated like
Martha Stewart, all while being a doting wife and mother. I wanted to make the
world a better place, make my mark and do everything I could to give my family
the best life possible. However you
describe it though, these numerous ambitions killed my dreams. Unfortunately I
also had an auto immune disease that was not being controlled on top of my insane
schedule and the pair was lethal.
My
world was altered for good in late 2013 with a final diagnoses of fibromyalgia
in addition to the other auto immune diseases and their negative side effects
that I had been diagnosed with over the years. My health did not change overnight but
slowly declined beginning when I was in my mid-twenties. When my doctor finally told me my headaches
and fatigue were a result of severe stress, I did what I could to slow down,
but it was too late. The preverbal ball had been rolling for far too long.
Compared to the beginning of my journey when I suffered
through daily migraines, spent half of the week in bed and only left the house to go to a doctor appointment; I feel that I have improved quite a lot. I am able to leave the house most days
to attend church, have a playdate and do the normal mom errands. I am still not able to work because my body does not work on a normal 7 to 5 schedule that a normal adults does but I have decent energy by noon. Instead of spending my precious energy on working I am thankful to be able to spend it on my daughter. I still must be careful not to push too hard or do too much when I feel
good. If I need to I just make sure I can spend the next day resting and sleeping a little more. ME/CFS and fibromyalgia are very inconvenient diseases. I make a list of things that need done and get as far as I
can until I hit that feeling of fatigue that says that is enough. Before I hit that inevitable invisible wall and have to spend the next day in bed. I try to look at my life now as a lazy housewives. I try not to focus on what I didn't get done but what I did.
I am currently still trying to improve
a little every week or month. I have accepted my limitations but do not believe
that I will be in this condition for the rest of my life. It is a funny tight rope of resignation and
hope. On my bad days I sleep most of the
day and try to remember that I will not feel like this for too long, eat as
healthy as possible and rest up so that tomorrow will be a good day. Every
morning and every night I take a handful or two of medications, vitamins and supplements.
My faith has been one of the only reasons I have made it through this trial, in
addition to my amazing family and friends.
After three years I found a wonderful doctor who is a specialist in
strange invisible diseases like chronic fatigue syndrome, thyroid problems, fibromyalgia
and others. He has me on the best possible medications that are available for
my illness and is very encouraging as he assures me that he is constantly
researching new methods for treating and discovering the causes of my health
problems.
My story is one of thousands like it.
It may be very similar to yours. If that is so I am sincerely sorry that you too
had to go through this painful experience.
My goal for this blog is to connect, commiserate, encourage and support
others who are going through this scary, painful journey. When you are unable
to leave your house for many days in a row, alone is the only thing you feel. This
page is here for you find comfort.
May you find peace and
comfort on every bad day and remember to live in the moment on every good day.
Most of all don’t forget that there is someone here for you and you are not
alone.
Sincerely,
Cassandra
Schaneman Rodriguez
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